2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
