He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
