i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
