i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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