she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
