hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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