what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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