WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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