i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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