I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
