okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
