we have officially lost it.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
