At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
