i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
