She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
