I am in a vortex of obligation.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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