those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
