Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
