I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
