I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
