I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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