This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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