My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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