Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
