YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
