Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize