I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Randomize
