I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
