we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
