told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
