I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
