Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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