I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
