This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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