one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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