you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
