Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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