yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
