Im at strip club and am horny
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
