I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
