I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
