i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize