I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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