He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
