"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize