dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
