Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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