why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
