im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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