My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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