I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize