dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize